Yesterday I went through the Rite of Welcoming at St Monica's Church. It was really cool. Father Ignatius called me up to the front of the church, I stated my name and my intention in the church, "to receive full communion with the Catholic Church". I didn't mess it up! Then Father, Karen (RCIA) and my sponser, Tracy made crosses on my forehead. Next Tracy alone made the sign of Christ over my ears, eyes, lips, shoulders, heart, feet and entire body. It was such a lovely ceremony. I believe it is from St Patrick's breastplate of armour in Christ prayer - I am not entirely sure. Then Tracy put a wooden cross around my neck which I am to wear until confirmation in a few months time. I was given a Bible which was blessed by Father Ignatius. I left before the Eucharist behind Karen and behind the "Book of the Gospels" in front of the entire church. The entire church was part of the ceremony and had speaking parts as to encourage me in my journey. I felt as though I was getting married again. Then Karen and I went to the Hall to "break open the word" and study the reading for the day. It was so fitting for me yesterday as it was from the book of Matthew and about having eyes and ears to hear Jesus's messages and parables. I felt wonderful. Tracy gave the kids a lift home and I went on to the praying alone and together group - which is part of the catechumenate I have to go through before communion. It is a really wonderful group that has deepened my prayer life.
Later I came home and told Justin all about it. Ever the supportive hubby, he had offerred to be there for me but I thought he would just feel uncomfortable and I would probably have been more nervous. So, I told him all that happened. It was sort of a strange day as it was also the anniversary of my sister's death. Now I will always have a nice memory for that date as well.
My ever sensitve hubby knows I can be a bit wierd on that day. In fact the night before I was sick - not sure if I was really sick, or if it was just nerves or emotions running me down. But anyway, we made an impromptu decision yesterday afternoon - quite a special thing for J - to go to take the kids to movies. We had a lovely time watching Transformers. We ate chocolate covered nuts and raisins and popcorn. It was really nice.
My Dad once said to me that time doesn't really heal our hurts, we just get used to living with the pain of loss and I think that he is right. It has been 24 years since my sister died and I can still feel that paing of heartache sometimes stabbing me as though it was yesterday. I felt selfish this year with my worries because Justin has only just lost his father, only 1 month ago. His grief is still very much present but he is learning to live with it. What else can we do? I wonder if my father-n-law has met my sister? I am sure we see those we love again in heaven but do we get to meet the loved ones of our loved ones that we have never met? I like to think that they have met anyway. It makes me smile to think of that.
2 comments:
I am so happy to hear about your journey as you join the Catholic Church. I hope you will continue to share bits of it in the blog. It is uplifting and reaffirming to hear how believing in Christ transforms the soul.
On a different note.. 24 years? Really? I literally can't believe it. I am terrible about marking the anniversary of my dad's death that was (as you know) only a couple of weeks before your sister's. I measure time by how old I was at the time, but not by how much time has passed. I still remember when your sis called me after hearing about my dad's passing to give her condolences. She was the only "non-adult" to do so... what a dear soul!
I know, so much time has passed. I think of you every year too around that time. It was so "out of character for Joellyn" to have called you and I am grateful that she did. Love You xxxx
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